Friends

So, what I've found when I go to a new place is that one of the biggest impression that stays with me when I leave is the friends I made when at that place. It doesn't matter if it's only for a year, or for a lifetime. When I changed schools my senior year, for example, the people I met there made me feel really welcome and accepted, and it really made what could have been a nightmare into a really memorable and fun experience.

More recently, going to Iowa State University meant not only changing the place I lived, but also living in a completely different culture than what I was used to. However, once again, the friends I made are some of the best friends I've ever had, because they made me feel like I belonged, and that I was someone in their lives that mattered.

However, until today, it didn't really dawn on me how much making friends means to me. Growing up, I went to school at Roosevelt Roads Naval Station (currently closed). Because I was the son of civilians who worked for the Navy, I stayed in the same school (until they closed the base my Junior year of high school). However, most of the people I went to school with were military kids, meaning they usually left every three years. This, and the fact that I was a kinda shy person and not really that good with people (me in middle/high school = definitely not popular) meant that I really didn't have many friends. Sure, I hung out with lots of people, mainly gamers (from Pokemon to Age of Empires), but I never had a friend who I could share moments with, a person who I could connect with at a deeper level. And sure, I had my family, but being exposed to an American culture separated us from truly becoming close, whereas my parents, well, they're my parents. In fact, I'm pretty sure the best friend I had while growing up was my sister. However, in a way, that didn't feel like what I wanted, or like it was cheating in a sense. It wasn't someone I could share things with at a deeper level.

In a way, this is something I've always craved. One of my biggest fears when I went to Iowa State was not being able to make true friends, people I could talk about problems I was having at the time, or to confide secrets to, while also being able to have a good time. This fear is what drove me to join the Social Team at St. Thomas Catholic Church, and to go to retreats: places where I knew I would at least meet a lot of people, raising the chances of meeting people who I could connect with at a deeper level than just "hanging out".

It is sort of ironic, then, that the way I met my girlfriend was not through my over-involvement of extracurricular activities, but rather through a mutual friend. With Kristin, I've been able to find someone who I can connect with at a much deeper level than I've ever been able to do so before. In a way, it's kind of intoxicating.

However, at the same time, I know that having that sort of connection with only one person can be smothering to both parties. Thus, I'm glad that I was able to make such really great friends that I did at Iowa State. I might not connect with them at the level I connect with Kristin, but it's still more of a friendship than I got from all my years in high school.

Now, at a completely different University in a different state, I again came to face with my fear of being alone, with no friends to be able to confide things with. The first week here, although busy, was also one filled with self-doubt and fear. Would I be able to make friends again at the level I did with my friends at Iowa State? However, I've met many people in the past few weeks, and from all those people, a few have surfaced that seem to be going in the direction of the type of friend that I always seem to long for. I just hope that this does, in fact, turn out to be the case.

So anyway, I want to say thank you to all my friends who've been there with me through good and bad times. I want to thank Kristin for loving me so much and putting up with my incessant annoyances. And I want to thank my new friends at University of Michigan for giving me the opportunity to build a relationship beyond that of just hanging out (even if that is so far more or less what we've done, but the potential is there, and that's what I thank you for. It is still pretty early on). Hopefully, once the summer is over, and we go on to our respective fields of study to slave away as indentured servants of academia (just kidding), we can still find the time to get together and share with each other. And to everyone who has been there for me, or will be there for me in the future, know that, if you need it, I will be there for you as well.